A MEETING OF SORTS: MR. X & I

Mr.x2On this afternoon, I get a text from a close friend reading that there is this gentleman, whom we shall name Mr. X, in dire need to meet me to have an important conversation. I immediately call my good friend to dig dipper. She doesn’t disclose as much, only alluding that Mr. X has some great opportunities if only I’d be interested. We end the conversation. By the way, the text had his number. At least my number wasn’t given out without a heads up. We call that courtesy. Well, I take my time wondering what Mr. X could be having in store for me. I even start questioning, why me and not any other person. You know how fears and doubts can tread on someone? Shame on them. May these demons of self doubt die premature deaths.

This was last week….

Thanks to the temptations of thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side, thoughts of me calling Mr. X were receiving National spotlight in my world. It could be the turnaround I have been waiting for, you know! I thought. They say opportunity knocks once, meaning it should be grabbed with all vitality in our possession. In this very competitive life, one cannot afford to pull a seat and wait. By now, I was on adrenaline, my mind going wild, occasionally throwing random thoughts that probably my dreams could come sooner…my savings could grow confidence and my tight budgets could loosen. I was on a mental treadmill trying miserably to control my jumpy heartbeat and the roaming mind. Speaking of my mind, it literally downed its tools on whatever it was working on, took off the dusty apron for the day and ran after the building illusions. As for me and the rest of my body, we pulled duvets and watched in amusement. “This is it!” I mumbled to myself.

In few minutes time, I was calling Mr. X, resisting an overwhelming anxiety. I helplessly listened to my phone requesting him to pick up from the other end. My fondly gadget remained so hopeful but unfortunately it didn’t come to be. Something else interrupted in a few….My call was hanged up. How? Jesus Christ of Nazereth? How does Mr. X hang up on me? It doesn’t happen especially when you sort to reach me through somebody. Mr. X c’mon. That was a mistake which I wasn’t taking lying down. How could I? At least not when I had a whole pregnant mammoth of illusions, expectations, built castles, racing hearts, shivering hands and anxious eyes eagerly waiting for my State of the Nation address. This build up of momentum couldn’t be in vain? Surely Mr. X

I retreated to the penthouse with my very trusted confidants eager to build a counter narrative, a Plan B & C and a painful exit strategy if need be. I was here chairing a tensed meeting, clouded with uneasiness and simmering frustrations smoldering from the cracks of vague hopes. Seated with me were my Instincts on the right, which serve as my National Intelligence docket. Present too were my emotions tough to persuade not to overreact. I had to give them (emotions) a dress down speech, on how to behave and be hopeful. In our midst was my Ego pulling no stops in giving indirect subtle threats and ultimatums to Mr. X lawyers. You see you have to give it to my Ego. It’s okay to liken it with one Nkaissery. Fiery loyal, protective and gun blazing. Dare me hehe. My P.A was also present having been represented by my Personality. My lawyers were in the vicinity too hired from the enviable Kageshi Kingdom. The chiefdom was in a crisis if you may, and summons had to be honoured.

Straight on the agenda was how to prepare for Mr. X:

  • How organised and ready was he to find us?
  • If he’d ask for some commitment fee, could our Treasury be in a position to honour?
  • How quickly were we to do our maths in finding out if the deal was exploitive? He could be a cunning salesman you know!
  • What if he didn’t call or pick up our calls ………after having the whole nation after us? It’s like Obama cancelling a nostalgic and over publicised trip to Kenya. But we rode on an assumption that Mr. X was a very busy man and could be calling in no time.

Meanwhile we kept the bulging battery of journalists around penthouse guessing on what could be cooking

And he finally called. From the onset, I could sense he was a salesman all hidden by the wishy washy preambles. Keen to listen, careful with his words and bringing along, a well -oiled confidence. Make no mistake he had mastered his game and was here to pursue a target. To catch and confuse a seemingly naive soul, a gullible taxpayer and an impatient youthful employee scared of stagnation.

So the eagerly awaited deal was all about joining his establishment, for lack of a better word, that partners with hotels across the world and endeavors to bridge the space between holiday enthusiasts and holiday destinations. He is a senior official in this organisation and his work is concisely to recruit, recruiters. Don’t get twisted. He is the chief of them all and have set base across 29 countries including Kenya. From the eye infectious sandy beaches in Singapore, rolling high walls in China to one of the longest suspension bridges in the world sandwiched by a thick forest and wild animals in British Columbia, what else could you ask for. The thing is, this package comes with discounted bookings in thousands of hotels around the globe. The trick is; the more people you net in, one gets a commission but Mr. X gets a tidier sum of money. It’s like being your own boss but having to part with huge commissions for the big brother. You recall the euphoria about GNLD back in the day? It’s the same concept.

Call him Mr. X. He is defined by zero chills and the art of conviction. He is a self -believer, has a feel good effect and good at charm offense. He can sell you land in Pluto, convince you to lend him all your savings or share your wife with him. He knows nothing about uninterested clients. They never exist in his world. He has this witty smile that talks of the devil being in the details. Even without having met him you could tell he looks straight to the face with eyes that can audit your life and find out about your bank balance in seconds.Funny enough, Mr. X doesn’t understand how to end a conversation. He calls for 30 minutes with a Safaricom line with no indications of hanging up soon. He will call when you are preparing evening tea, have it ready and taken, listen to him as you clean your dishes, as you dust your carpet, as you watch the news, as you say hey to your neighbour, without him getting bothered of the background noise or of your annoying yawns. He takes no chances. The fact that one has to raise a minimum capital and pay a monthly charge if he/she fail to maintain at least 4 active members was my point of departure with him. That was too much work for me.

Meanwhile, all my imaginations came grand halting, hitting down with thunders of frustrations and salivating for my blood like the armies of the movie, Game of Thrones. The annoying part is, thanks to Mr. X’s marketing skills I didn’t know how to say No. Yes, I’m one of those who nod when they mean No. I belong to the school of thought that is afraid of hurting people with cold Nos. Haha. At this minute, Mr. X is waiting for my appointment and I have no clue on what to tell him. Anyone willing to help..Andreaders?

Surely Mr. X

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2 thoughts on “A MEETING OF SORTS: MR. X & I

  1. Hahaaaaa ….Mr…x marketing skills has already set the bar so high for other marketers.Any way the only easy way to avoid his appointment is by telling him that you will let him know when you get time.

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