SponsereeI have read and observed the talk about ladies who cohabit with married men, stared as opinions took sharp meanders across social media, survived the hammers and tongs thrown from both divides, dozed off the lectures on why we shouldn’t judge them and finally wept. Yes, I wept in my soul after reading lengthy articles and watching media personalities try to justify society vices, listened in disgrace the vague arguments about why we should mind our business and hid from jabs propelled by extreme feminists. (Note feminists can be both female & male).

For the record, I will judge every lady I spot pretending to be harboring some love with a man twice her age. Equally, I will judge that man that is eroding our precious daughters/sisters/nieces with evil money and lies and pretense. I will be bitter about him for demolishing a life’s investment. On that note, I’m convinced to have written fairly enough articles about MEN LETTING US DOWN. For avoidance of doubt here is a sample amongst many – Beside Stripping Women , Untamed Desires , Men Who Go Clubbing at 55Why Have Married Men Disenfranchised ‘Single Boys’ , and What Became Of Men .

However, allow me to share my thoughts on the so called sponsoree ladies. I will judge them not on my individual capacity though, but as a representative of the society. The society bestows each one of us with a responsibility to uphold societal values. That shouldn’t be construed to mean I’m all righteous. In any case, I’m nowhere near a saint; however I can’t justify my boggling past mistakes with a selective bible reading attitude. Ideally, we should hold ourselves accountable of course from borrowing society values that should always be our point of reference. But how will we trace these values if all we do is sink in evil and resurface holding placards saying Do Not Judge! 

To you that is sharing a Bible verse on Do not judge, would you mind reading Jude1:7 as well! Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.

I repeat, Christians should learn to read the bible wholly and not selectively.

You know, humans are the worst hypocrites. They hide under a bible verse that says do not judge and use it as an excuse to exercise debauchery. They hide under a story of the bible that says cast the first stone if you are not a sinner in order to console themselves. Why we will judge these ladies however, is because if we don’t do so, it will be a lose-lose scenario. Come to think of Sodom and Gomorrah and if they judged each other. For argument’s sake, if these people raised uproar over bad behaviors, probably Sodom and Gomorrah would have saved itself from God’s anger. My point is, we cannot preach on DO NOT JUDGE and go ahead sinning left, right and center and consequently watch a society fall apart helplessly just because we were warned of judging. We’d rather judge since somehow some of us will appreciate that we are sinful and therefore repent and reconstruct our lives than publicly saying do not judge only to go ahead and judge secretly.

By the way, we will not judge you because we sin differently or because of what you’ve amassed at such a young age but because as a society, we have a mandate to judge people who give life to evil. But we are not exceptions either! The same sword we judge with should be placed right on us if we do the same. Judging, safeguards values of a society. For truth’s sake we should stop burying our heads in the sand and lie that we do not judge even when we make poetic opinions why we shouldn’t judge.

Humans judge a million and one times every day. It is human nature. It’s in our DNA. That’s how we are wired. Actually, not even OUR OWN SELVES escape from self-criticism. We’d rather make peace with that part of reality and be honest with ourselves. We judge people based on their heights, their careers, how they dress, their characters, type of car they drive, the estate they live in, their type of weave, makeup, spouse, their bodies, their relatives, their failures, their incomes…..damn, we do this every single day. Even when we shout on top of Mt. Everest that DON’T JUDGE, we will fall back to judging the next minute. We will judge with our mouths shut, our eyes closed, our hearts smiling and with every other body part that can do so. No one is an exemption from this human flaw including our lecturers, Pastors/Bishops/Apostles/Prophets/Imams and parents. It’s who we are anyway. We will judge in our dreams, in church, in burial ceremonies, in weddings, in dowry occasions, at birthday parties, in school, when having a family meal, in the office, in the matatu, and virtually everywhere.

That said, I don’t advocate on what one popular blogger C.Nyakundi sometimes writes. Judging shouldn’t be about insults or attacking a certain gender. It should be done within the purveyors of decorum and ethics. We should be mindful of these people as well as their families. Crushing them with insults and unprintable words is not justifiable. However, that shouldn’t mean we remain silent. As representatives of society, we should judge them by telling them what they are doing is ungodly and so wrong. Cross generational sex can only mean one thing; that Judgement Day is not far off.

You see, if we do not make noise about the direction our generation is heading, from tearing apart marriage institutions to openly practising prostitution in whichever form, we will have lost the plot and equally angered God. Not that we are any righteous but because we have a mandate to be responsible Christians who jealously guard societal values. Because, if we do not do so, who will do it?

Worse still, if we don’t judge, we will sit pretty and watch our daughters get lured by money and say; “It shall be well!!!” C’mon??




Add yours

  1. Thanks Dru. Do you know that cross-generational sex is the number 1 cause of new HIV infections among this generation we are in? This is next battleground in the fight against HIV/AIDS.

  2. “Worse still, if we don’t judge, we will sit pretty and watch our daughters get lured by money and say; “It shall be well!!!” C’mon??” … I beg to differ, how you bring up your children before the society and the environment at large interferes with their choices is important. Does judging make your future generation a better generation no…teach them how to fend for themselves, how to respect and appreciate who they are, then there will be no one to judge. http://www.shesatomboy.com

    1. Rael, how i understand judging is from a dipper level. It is conscious parameters created by society that once one goes overboard there will repercussions

  3. Thus “sponsors” thing is just uncouth and un-cultured. I wonder why majority of us Africans left our cultural norms and embraced some other foreign ones. I can bet there was no “sponsorship” in the days of our ancestors.

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