“…Hapo zamani ukiambiwa unapendwa, waamini…unaimani…” Words picked from Elani’s latest single which loosely translate; in the past when somebody said he/she loves you, you didn’t have any misgivings. I miss the good old days, when love was love. Nowadays when a lady whispers to you words of love, you get bewildered, you juggle between confusion and excitement. Reason being, times have changed, so have love and people. Relationships are breaking even before they start. Welcome to the microwave generation, where when people meet today, they want to be in a relationship like yesterday. We never give friendship a chance, thanks to the many soap operas all over our T.V screens.
Fellow men, we are the most affected, ladies are capitalizing on our gullibility, big time. Our casual nature serves as good fodder for ladies to apply all the tricks on our face so effortlessly. Women cheat and they cheat so meticulously, unlike men. If a girl by day 2 is already calling you ‘babe’ and you guys have only met on WhatsApp, think hard, summon yourself and quickly get an exit strategy. If by day 5 she claims you are the sweetest honey pie she has ever stumbled on, do not even try to hide, please run and run fast, for your dear life. If on the second week she is trying to borrow some money from you, consult your instincts, prudent people don’t approach their new friends for financial help. Ladies who party five days a week, are a no go zone. If her dreams are vague and neither here nor there, do not contemplate changing her, you’ll fail miserably. If you visit the kitchen more often than she does, you’ve cooked yourself in hot soap. A real man will prefer a lady to cook for him than being frequently surprised with dinners all over town.
Am referring to subtle and highly smart ladies who possess this guileless demeanor. Guys, it’s advisable to randomly check how you have been saved in her phonebook, lest all her friends will refer to you as the small or big bro depending on you stature. If by the third month you don’t even know how many siblings she has, if she is always amorphous when it comes to her discussing where she comes from, think twice, somebody is being duped. These sorts of ladies are very economical with information; they in fact can’t trust you with their phone, not even when going to have a shower. They will insist on a sleep over within the first one month after you meet. For you, it will seem like winning a jackpot oblivious of the fact that, the devil is in the details. Chances are, she is already pregnant with another man involved, but as time progresses she’ll make you believe, you’re responsible.
Let not naivety distract you, take your time. Infatuation is normal and decisions based on it can be very misleading. It conceals flaws that could have been easily spotted with a sober mind. It’s okay to say no to a lady, but how often do we utilize that word. Many a time, ladies call the shots in relationships as men are lost in trying to please them. It’s through this naivety, that mistakes are done through the thick of things, before you realize, you are already so hooked up to a lazy, narcissistic lady who does not even fall close to your dream girl. Beneath the make up on her face, her expensive weave, well-manicured fingers, you meet her true ethos. Baggage is the only word that can describe her. She will only pour out her heart, her insecurities and emotional pain after she has ‘used’ you. By then, your conscious will have been compromised and so will be your judgments.
The controversial page Dead Beats, to me is just déjà vu and delineates how family set up has disintegrated into small pieces left, right and center. Such pages go viral for few months and the sensation fizzles out with time. No amount of blackmail will bring solutions, it’s self-defeating and myopic. Do not be surprised to find out more than half, of men ‘ashamed’ in that infamous page, are actually victims of tricks women use. What will happen when ten years from now, the said kids find out their images were uploaded to the internet to solicit a certain man to take responsibility? We have better channels to forward your grievances like Children Court of Kenya or organisations like FIDA which backed by law can compel men to take responsibility. Uploading somebody’s photo on a funny Facebook page only depicts how stuck you are on a man who was even below your caliber. Move on bravely and he will chocked by guilt to his deathbed.
Fellow gentlemen, be watchful as you chase the elusive love, please don’t judge a book by its cover, the devil is a liar, Rick Ross can attest to this, all so well!