BULLYING OF SINGLE PEOPLE

single ppleMandy Hale said, “Single is no longer a lack of options but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day happily and let your ever after work itself out.” Many people are suckers for love, but that is easier harboured in the mind and left to be fantasized than experienced. For a long time single people have suffered in silence at the expense of torment from people who purport to be madly in love with their other halves and enjoying every minute of their so called relationships. By the way I’m not a sadist; in fact I’m happy for everybody who is in a relationship for all the right reasons. I support all my friends who are married. I appreciate it’s not that easy. Having said that however, my problem is directed to a certain clique of the society who make it their business to let us know, how they were beautifully caressed last night by their partners or how their marriage is the best (mind you they’ve been married for less than a year) and how they pity the single people out there. These are the same people who are engaged just to conform to societal expectations.

What this school of thought is oblivious of, is that every new day millions of single ladies are turning down offers from their bosses, similarly, their male counterparts are turning a blind eye to ladies making strategic moves with their shallow credentials notwithstanding. Single hood is normally associated with solitude, rejection and loneliness but being single is one thing and being lonely is a totally different thing. In any case, one of the most common cases of loneliness is found in marriages and relationships and it’s more detrimental. We have taken upon ourselves to perceive the single in a very negative way. We have placed them next to criminals, some treat it as an abomination, ask high school kids. Soap operas have redefined relationships and they are now a matter of life and death. Love has been commercialised, consequently all the ugly effects are borne by the Singles.

We are all at different stages of our lives and single hood is part of it, in any case it’s a good thing for self-growth. It’s the right stage in life to assess and evaluate oneself, reflect on the past and ponder on the posterity. It has no room for feeling small or self-pity. A good number of people are getting into relationships and marriages for validations and affirmations, and what they do in return is scorn the single. These are the same people jumping from one relationship to another in a couple of months. They are escapists who are afraid of handling their very own baggage which continue to build up. Ideally they should be the last to point fingers at any single person. As the old saying goes, apples don’t fall far away from the tree, the same usual suspects will be spotted gate crashing and mingling in singles events.

Single people are brave and that should be appreciated. Please do not get into a relationship to please your peers as some apply all unorthodox ways to woo successful people or people higher up in their career ladder. How do you flaunt with your boyfriend’s car when you contributed nothing, not even emotional help. And by the way chances are, you’ll not be his girlfriend for long before he finds someone better than you. Some are too desperate to betray their own skin just to be ‘loved’. Someone asked, would the world perceive you the same if we were all blind? This notion of losing yourself to please somebody is what many are doing and hypocritically bad mouthing the single.

Let the single be single in peace. There is more fulfillment and self-respect that comes along when you are honest and true to your conscious. To those who are in genuine relationships, all the best. The rest keep the sensation to yourself, social media does not need it, not unless you need fake smiles and very fake aaaaaw moments from ladies. To the single, prejudice is everywhere, ignore it and embrace what completes and makes you more at peace. “Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.” ―Mandy Hale.

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